Slendy and Mary
by Reid Phantom
Summary: Jack and Hiccup decide to do a Let's Play of Slender Man in Pitch's lair (which Hiccup epically fails at) only to receive some unexpected guests. ((Written for Hijack November: Let's Play(er?) AU. Mild Language))


"Go that way!"

"Will you be quiet!"

"There! You just passed it! Go back!"

"Shut up! I saw it!"

"Then why did you - Oh crap! HE'S BEHIND YOU! What are you doing? Don't turn around!"

"You just sa-"

"RUN!"

...

"You died..."

"I can see that Jack, thank you. Why did I let you talk me into this?"

"Because it's fun, or it would be if you could last more than five minutes and actually find a paper."

"I just found one!"

"That was just luck, and you still didn't manage to get it before he grabbed you."

"I give up! This game's stupid and it's not even scary."

"True, Pitch is about as scary as a newborn kitten and even he is a thousand times scarier than this 'Slender Man'."

"Oh really?"

"Gah!"

"Hey!"

"Oh, hi Pitch! Who's your friend?"

"Really Jack, between the featureless white face, the tentacles, and the fact we have just been playing his game for the past two hours you seriously have to ask?"

...

"No way! Your Slender Man, like the real thing!"

"You're an idiot Jack."

"C'mon Hic, we've only ever caught quick, fuzzy glimpses of him in the game and unlike you, I didn't go online and look up a bunch of stuff on him. Anyways, dude, can I have your autograph?"

"JACK! The guy's holding us up in the air by our ankles and has a history of kidnapping kids and teens. Why are you asking for his autograph?"

"It's _the_ Slender Man. This is, like, a once in a lifetime chance! Think of how jealous Jamie would be when he saw it!"

"Again, you're an idiot."

"Agreed, now may I ask what the two of you think you're doing in my home?"

"Don't look at me, this was all Jack's idea."

"C'mon Pitch, everyone knows horror games are best played in the dark, and your lair's the darkest, dreariest, creepiest place I could think of!"

"Flattery will get you nowhere Frost. Now give me one good reason why I shouldn't let my friend Slender rip you into pieces?"

"Listen Pitch, we're -"

"You and Slendy are friends? I knew it! I knew all the creepy legends hung out together! I bet you hang out with the Big Bad Wolf and the child eating witch from Hansel and Gretel too, don't you?"

"Grim is an idiot, but I do find Baba Yaga's company entertaining, along with Rawhead and Bloody Mary."

"M-Mary? Uh, she's not here... Is she?"

"Yes, and by the fear that's coming off you Frost, I can tell you want to meet her. I'll be right back."

...

"Okay Slendy, what will it take for you to let us go?"

"What did you do?"

"Seriously Slendy, I'll give anything!"

"What the hell did you do Jack?"

"Promise not to kill me."

"I make no such promise!"

...

"I swear, it was only for a dare! I didn't mean it!"

"What did you -"

"I flirted with Mary!"

...

"It wasn't my fault Hic! Cupcake dared me and I honestly didn't think she was real so I figured, 'Hey, why not!' I didn't expect her to show up, let alone think my flirting was real and ask me out on a date!"

"And you didn't explain to her it was fake?"

"I... didn't have the heart too."

"You mean you didn't have the balls too."

"Give me a break, I already died once and I don't plan on doing it again."

"Give _you_ a break? _I'm_ the one that just found out my boyfriend hit on and went on a date with Bloody Mary!"

"I didn't go on the date with her. I told her I had plans and I'd call her to reschedule."

...

"C'mon Hic, I'm sorry okay. You know I didn't mean it."

...

"Please Hic, I lo- Ow!"

"Mph"

"Hey, what was that for? Where are you going Slendy?"

_"Teenagers are annoying when they're not scared. Too dramatic!"_

"Wait, I didn't get my auto- Ow!"

"Shut up idiot. Just grab the computer so we can get out of here before your mistress shows up."

"She's not my mistress! I told you, nothing happened! I even used my really lame, cheesy pick up lines to throw her off, but they didn't work! It's not my fault I'm too irresistable Hic."

"Wait, does that mean you have lines that aren't lame and cheesy?

"That hurts Hic, really. Right here. But I forgive you Hiccup, because I love you. I _only_ love you my perfect, amazing, wonderful, handsome dragon boy!"

...

"I love you too you idiot."

"Make up kiss?"

"Don't push your luck. I'm still mad."

...

"Hug?"

...

"Fine."

...

"Love you!"

"Just get the computer so we can go."

"Right."

"Idiot."

"I heard that! Oh hey, we're still recording! We should totally post this!"

"Why? I stunk at the game."

"Yeah, and that'll definitely get a few laughs, but we legitimately got attacked by Slender Man while playing the game and we got it all on tape!"

"You do realize we only had the microphone set up and not the camera, right? All they'll see is the 'game over' screen."

"But they'll hear the attack! We got his voice! We just have to edit it to get rid of Pitch and all that talk about... She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and maybe add in some screams and we'll be famous!"

"You're an idiot."

"But you love me!"

"Unfortunately. Come on, let's go. We'll talk about this later."

***End recording***

* * *

I decided to try something new and attempted a dialog only oneshot. How did I do? It takes place in my (yet to be named and taking requests) Movie Swap AU a few years after the battle with Pitch and Jack and Hiccup become Guardians.

I honestly have no idea where the Bloody Mary (oh no! I said her name three times!) thing came from. Jack and Hiccup got away from me a little. I also hadn't planned on Slendy talking, but can you do.

So, there's a lot of back and forth in the fandom on whether Jack (and any other spirits) can be seen or heard on camera. My opinion is that they can be seen on camera, but only by their believers. On the other hand, everyone can hear them and that's why Ghost Hunters can get audio evidence sometimes. Hence, Jack and Hiccup only recording their voices and not expressions. Also, am I the only one that can see Pitch having a group of creepy friends? I can just imagine them sitting around discussing all the best ways to terrorize children and bagging on the Guardians.


End file.
